Obama Honorary Degree Linked To Rolling Papers By Multiple Sources

WASHINGTON -- The Daily Caller broke the news Friday that a single anonymous source is pretty sure he heard correctly when another guy told him that President Barack Obama probably got a 2.6 grade-point average at Columbia University. While The Daily Caller could not confirm this information, because why would it bother to do something like that, the report did raise a host of questions about this man -- Barack Obama -- who wants to be our president, and who indeed has been our president, despite the fact that we know almost nothing about him, because no television cameras have been pointed at him ever, in his life.


One of the more obvious questions that The Daily Caller's exclusive "some stuff someone heard about a grade-point average" story immediately raised was, "Is it true that the honorary degree that Barack Obama received from the University of Michigan was printed on rolling papers?" This is a subject that has been the source of much speculation, for many hours. But we need wonder no longer.


Seven sources who have email accounts and know how to type words have contacted the Huffington Post Friday to independently confirm that that the honorary degree that Obama received from the University of Michigan was totally printed on rolling papers. We have agreed to protect the anonymity of these sources, as each has expressed a certain amount of fear for their livelihoods, should they become known as the sources for this story. We feel, however, that their accounts, which corroborate one another, are reliable enough to go ahead and write a blog post about this.




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